It’s been a while since I have been on here.
I have learned that there is there is so much power in just “being”. For years my body was stuck in fight or flight mode and under constant stress. While I learned better coping skills and did the work to understand so many powerful lessons surrounding it all, it has become apparent to me that healing is not on a short timeline. Healing comes in waves and healing is a perfectly acceptable part of the journey, however long it may be.
I fought for a better life for myself and my children and succeeded. I dove into personal care and doing what felt right for me. I learned what my likes and dislikes as an individual are. Self-care become the forefront of my journey. For the first time in my life, I didn’t ask for approval to do what I wanted. I stopped second guessing decisions that I needed to make and learned to trust my own instincts. I worked hard and learned to be so proud of the title of “a single mom”, a title that once stopped me in my tracks. After so much heart break and distrust I learned to trust and fall in love again. I did it all.
I chose me.
When I write that, it almost seems like I have lived my entire lifetime already. I have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time when it’s put into perspective. And since I’ve accomplished it all, that’s got to be it right? I should be happily coasting through the remainder of my life, right? I have an incredible life and so much to be grateful for, there should be no need to seek “more”.
But, why can’t I desire more? We heal when we feel and we grow when we realize that real personal growth is a constant process of learning and unlearning. Constant. It doesn’t end when I “might” have figured it all out. It continues for your entire lifetime. We only get one of them, why not make it all that it can truly be?
I look forward to the next chapter, thanks for sticking it out with me.
She is Found 