The choice is mine, all I have to do is choose.
Can I do this? Can I stay? Or should I go?
Simple isn’t it…
I can choose to walk away from the struggles I have with someone else (heck, maybe they are even my own struggles) and be free, or I can choose to stay. I can choose to leave my loved one who is struggling with addiction or mental health and be free of it all, or I can choose to live it every day.
The thing is though, sure you can make your choice, but it doesn’t make it go away. Nothing is solved by running away, and nothing is solved by staying.
So, NO, it’s not simple, none of it is simple. Nothing that requires you to grow, to make hard life changing decisions is simple. Nothing that requires you to dig deeper then you have ever dug before is simple. Nothing that drains every ounce of who you are, and can even make you lose sight of what life is about is simple.
It’s hard, fucking hard.
And it’s scary shit.
Some serious conversations with other people walking a similar path to the one I walked are coming up and putting me here. They are putting me in a place I recall all too well. It’s very easy to be on the outside looking in, and its suffocating to be on the inside.
At the end of the day, the choice is yours to make, will it be wrong? Or will it be right? Maybe one day it will feel right when I wake up, and feel wrong when I go to bed.
This is my reminder to you if your living this way that there will be waves, and there will be mountains. Ride the waves, climb the mountains, and know that if you happen to jump full into the wave or take a slide back, there is no stopping you from going again. Just keep going.
Only those who are living this life can read this and know exactly what it is I’m talking about, if your reading it and its you, I’m sending all my love. All of it. This too shall pass. Promise.
~Ashley~
She is Found 